Many gay men fear emotional closeness or intimacy with another man. A fear of intimacy is often about not wanting to be in a vulnerable position where you could be hurt by another. To overcome your fear of intimacy, ultimately you have to take emotional risks with other men. Therapy with an experienced counsellor or psychotherapist can also help address your fear of intimacy and reduce your Sangamon IL Single Gay Men to closeness with other men.
Being highly sexually or promiscuous is often a response to coming out — often called delayed gay adolescence. But the two are actually quite different. Many gay men lack the confidence to go after what they want. And this really shows up when I see guys that are smitten with another guy, but are too scared to do anything about it. This is often an indicator that you lack confidence. Developing genuine and enriching relationships with others is also an important part of increasing your confidence.
This works as a strategy in keeping you safe from being rejected, yet also sabotages any efforts you might be wanting to make in getting closer to someone else. You may have developed defences against your fear of rejection, and these defences are actually keeping you separate from other people. But homophobia can be an incredibly subtle experience and one that you may not even be aware of at times.
You are often absorbing messages of shame and disgust that our friends, family, the media, and wider community have in relation to homosexuality.
This is problematic for your relationships because if you feel shame, dirty, sinful, disgusting or any other deeply negative emotion about being gay, even unconsciously, this will undermine your efforts to build a healthy relationship another man.
It can often be the reason why so many gay men sabotage their relationships before they get too close. One way to prevent yourself from forming deeper relationships with other gay men is to make sure you surround yourself with lots of shallow and superficial relationships.